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2009 Debutantes

Liberty Belle O'Hara (John Michael Roch)


The specific details of Miss Liberty Belle O’Hara’s true parentage may be lost to time since, at the time of her conception, her mother (“Ma Belle”) was most likely immigrating to the United States from Italy during the Great Spaghetti Famine.  When Ma Belle boarded HMS Metaphor for her journey, a group of Irish Potato Famine refugees were also boarding.  During the long crossing, it was rumored that Ma Belle was quite friendly with this group of rowdy Irishmen. However, if several recovered journal entries are to be believed, she not only was “friendly”, she enjoyed the carnal knowledge of all of the Irish men (and most of the women) on board during the 10-month voyage.  Given Liberty Belle’s love of cheap beer and barroom brawling, it can safely be assumed that half of her chromosomes were directly contributed by a ruddy-cheeked Irish peasant.

When HMS Metaphor was approaching the United States shore, tragedy struck!  The large steamship collided with a local gambling cruise ship and both vessels rapidly sank one-half mile off the Jersey shore.  Weakened by scurvy from their long voyage, the entire group of passengers and crew were unable to swim to safety and were lost. However, the infant Liberty Belle, was spared when she washed up on the beach in an orange sack the next day! Fortunately, she was discovered by a haberdasher from Philadelphia, who named her after his city’s second-most famous structure (“King of Prussia Mall” was already taken).  This haberdasher took Liberty Belle home and, even before she could walk, taught to sew buttons onto corsets in his shop.  Her small, nimble fingers were ideally suited to affixing buttons that would not tear or pop off.

At the tender age of 8, Liberty Belle encountered the woman who would change her life.  Miss Dominique Devita Devereaux-O’Hara was touring the East Coast and came into Liberty Belle’s father’s shop with a corset emergency. Dominique’s notoriously ample bosom could be barely contained by a corset.  Indeed, even before she entered a room, her presence was often announced by the “pzissing” of a whalebone button fleeing its confinement at supersonic speeds.  When Dominique saw the skill with which young Liberty Belle reattached the buttons, she knew this child had something special.  Dominique purchased Liberty Belle from her father for half-a-head of cabbage and the mother-daughter duo embarked on a grand tour of all of the Navy shipyards up and down the Atlantic Coast.

Eventually, the pair landed in Atlanta, where the sultry weather caused both hothouse flowers to blossom.  So they decided to put down roots at last, and Dominique opened a dress shop in Riverdale for big and tall ladies of refinement.  The pubescent Liberty Belle rapidly grew dissatisfied with her life of sewing whalebone buttons onto corsets; she wanted more of a life for herself.  She enrolled in Georgia State University, and after only 25 semesters, recently graduated with a major in general studies.

Presently, Liberty Belle divides her time between charity work and translating Homer’s Iliad into Tagalog.  Miss Liberty Belle O’Hara makes her debut at the Atlanta Cotillion Ball VIII.  Please join her in spreading the misinformation that the last portion of the Cotillion’s title is pronounced “V i i i” and not “eight”.

 

Cotillion XI

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